Advice to Stop Your Divorce

Talking through the Problems
This may seem a little obvious, but it's the best place to start if the option is open to you. Start by sitting back, looking at the problems that have led your marriage to this point, and asking whether or not you yourself feel they can be resolved. If you think they can, then it's only a matter of convincing your spouse of the same thing. The first step to doing that is opening up a conversation about the problems.

Don't expect this to be an easy or painless process. There aren't any easy or painless options available to you at this point – but if you want to avoid divorce, you need to be prepared to make some hard decisions, swallow your pride and be prepared to apologize for anything you may have done to get into this situation. Be honest with yourself on this – even if your spouse has clearly behaved badly, ask yourself if you may have done something to provoke that behavior. In a divorce scenario it's easy to focus only on what the other person has done wrong, rather than taking an honest look at our own behavior. But this is something that needs to be done to work through many problems.

Stop Your Divorce: Finding a Marriage Therapist
Sometimes, talking through issues on your own isn't enough – when you've got into the habit of fighting within your relationship, all attempts at reasonable talking tend to degrade into screaming matches. That's where a marriage therapist comes in handy. A marriage therapist can act like a kind of 'referee' so you and your spouse can discuss problems without things getting out of hand. This helps make sure you and your spouse don't say things in the heat of the moment that will ultimately make problems worse.

But marriage therapists do more than just act like a referee. They help you both understand your own psychology better so you can avoid getting into problematic situations in the first place. A therapist can also provide you with practical tips and techniques for defusing fights and other common situations that lead to tensions in your relationship. Ultimately, the idea of using a therapist is that you'll eventually be able to communicate much more openly and honestly with your spouse. It's surprising how many marital problems grow out of a simple lack of communication and the lack of understanding that results.

Things to Stop Doing
Chances are, you may actually be doing certain things to your spouse without even really being aware of it that are eating away at your marriage.

One of these is subtle emotional abuse. Even something like playful teasing can be interpreted as abusive if you do it all the time. If you have a tendency to talk negatively towards your spouse, even if you 'don't really mean it,' try to nip this behavior in the bud.

Another thing that can ruin a marriage is jealousy. No one likes to feel like they're constantly under suspicion, especially if they haven't done anything wrong. Even if your spouse has cheated on you in the past, you need to decide to either end the marriage, or forgive and let go. You can't say you've forgiven and then act jealous and suspicious all the time – it's a recipe for disaster. If you say you forgive your spouse, you have to actually follow through and act like it otherwise the marriage is doomed to fail in the long term.

There are many other ways to stop your divorce. You just have to be willing to save the marriage and work together at making the most out of life.

SBI!